I know that as we “grow up” we leave many parts of our past and of ourselves behind. But as I look over the past year, it’s sometimes hard to tell if I have gained a new and improved me or if I have lost part of myself. I’ve experienced many new things, and gone out of comfort zones, and I have made some really important decisions. It’s hard to imagine my life if I would not have gone off to a University, joined a Sorority, and gotten a job. I’ve made a “new” life for myself. I’ve made friendships and discontinued others. But when I look at the friendships I have made in this transition; actual friends that I have, and I mean the ones that would drop everything in a heartbeat to come help me, I can really only name one person that I can truly rely on. This isn’t including a select few that I have known throughout high school! When I realized that, I think it made me a little sad (not that I’m not extremely grateful for this friend, because I truly am!), almost like the rest of the relationships were superficial or based on something that I don’t value at this point in my life. So, I honestly don’t know if “growing up” was all that it was hyped up to be. Yes, I LOVE that I have a job, I’m doing super well in my classes, and I’m proud of myself, but I also miss not worrying about things. Not stressing over money, school work, my job, and making what seems to be like a million people happy, when in reality only a few people are actually worth making happy or at least worth not letting down. Maybe I’m thinking too much into it, or maybe I’m spot on? But I seem to base a lot of my social relationships. Maybe this is because as humans we are all social beings and I am fascinatedwith psychology and how peopleinteract with each other, and what motivates our social behaviors. Overall, I know I have lost some parts of me (like the easygoing Lindsay and careless person who did not take responsibility for her actions), but I have also gained other aspects such as an independent(for the most part), and hardworking young woman. With that being said I’m going to call it a draw. It will become a gain (at least in my opinion) when I am satisfied with not only my personal achievements but also, those of my friends and family too; especiallythe friends ( and of course my family) who mean the most to me. And in the process of achieving this “win” I will make myself happy and only worry about making those select few happy as well. In the long run they are the ones who matter and will be there through the thick and the thin. The rest can fall to the wayside. I don’t want to stress about the little things anymore but instead, take time to enjoy the little things and focus on the people and the things that really matter to me! I only have so much energy, I don’t want to waste it on the negatives in life, as I have this week. Starting now I want to work towards my win; I will focus my efforts and energy on positive people and positive things! I know that this is easier said than done, but I am really going to but forth the effort to be more positive!
